Lately that flush-all-over feeling has come more often than I care to admit. It usually shows up with soul-rumbling anxiety and crotchety feelings of doom. At first I thought it was post-nursing-era hormones. Then one day, someone said it, and I knew it had to be true: perimenopause.
Already? I feel as though I've only started to blossom in the motherhood role, so how can I be simultaneously wilting on the vine as a viable breeder?
Please understand. Aside from justifiable "chips and chocolate" binges, I harbor no fondness for menstrual madness. Saying goodbye to cramps and tampons will be fabulous. But knowing my reproductive viability is on death row kind of breaks my heart. I mean, life with a child has finally stabilized. Fleeting thoughts of more children have only just started. Too late, I guess, since my birthing days are numbered.
Yes, I started this parenting thing later than most. Yes, menopause is inevitable. But already? I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!
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E$: I fear it is hitting me early, too. I can't tell you how many nights I awaken in wee hours, not just b/c my toddler is shrieking through a bad dream BUT ALSO b/c it is soooo freakin' hot! Not really--only to me. So, you are not alone. And it's okay. Our kids can play together--they can be pseudo-siblings. (Did I spell that right?)
P.S. I'm not touching that hair color entry. I don't know what I'll do when that dilemma becomes my own. So, do what you want and fuggeddabboudit.
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