Is it hot in here?

Lately that flush-all-over feeling has come more often than I care to admit. It usually shows up with soul-rumbling anxiety and crotchety feelings of doom. At first I thought it was post-nursing-era hormones. Then one day, someone said it, and I knew it had to be true: perimenopause.

Already? I feel as though I've only started to blossom in the motherhood role, so how can I be simultaneously wilting on the vine as a viable breeder?

Please understand. Aside from justifiable "chips and chocolate" binges, I harbor no fondness for menstrual madness. Saying goodbye to cramps and tampons will be fabulous. But knowing my reproductive viability is on death row kind of breaks my heart. I mean, life with a child has finally stabilized. Fleeting thoughts of more children have only just started. Too late, I guess, since my birthing days are numbered.

Yes, I started this parenting thing later than most. Yes, menopause is inevitable. But already? I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!